The Only Argument You Need for the Oxford Comma

via Facebook

How to Ride a Bike

Dear Marianne Chrisos,

I was recently informed that you've forgotten how to ride a bike. You learned, but then you forgot, and you'd like to remember, to recall what it feels like to ride, the sensation. Here's what I offer:

Riding a bicycle is like playing a video game in real life. Chicago, specifically the North Shore, is fantastic for this. You choose the terrain: urban city streets, lakefront beach, the grassy knolls of Lake Shore and Lincoln Park. You choose day or night, heavy traffic or light. You can compete with those around you or just yourself. You can time it, or ride a certain number of miles, or just get on the bike and go. I like having a destination, something farther away, a few miles maybe, so I can feel my heart pumping and my skin heating up. I like riding in the cool fall, crunching through leaves, manually warming up my body, watching my own breath hit me in the face.

You start slow, rolling the bike for a few steps in the driveway, until you stop and swing your leg over. You put your right foot on its corresponding pedal and push down, lifting the other leg off the ground and finding balance as the wheels roll forward, taking you with them. Before you lose momentum, you put your left foot on the other pedal and push again, and then again with your right, and then again with your left. You may wobble for a minute, which is what the training wheels were for on your first bike, but you have a lower center of gravity now. Being short and female is helpful in that regard.

It's true, your butt hurts more on a real bike than on the video game bike. But that's okay because you're earning it. Once you get moving, you feel the wind in your hair and smell whatever season has crept over Lake Michigan. I like riding on rainy days because the air is cleanest and smells like laundry detergent designed to smell like fresh air. I also like riding on rainy days because it makes me feel like a badass. I ride harder and faster, feeling my heart quicken and my thighs ache as I push right, left, right, left, over and over, dodging raindrops. I stand up and push down with my body weight on the pedals to go faster, to keep up with the cars on Halsted Street. They usually pass me, but during rush hour I can easily outstrip an entire line from Wellington to Fullerton.

I pedal so hard that I arrive at my destination exhausted, in need of refreshment. Local tea and soup sales go up exponentially as cold weather grips the city and cyclists suffer runny noses and inclement weather. It's only September, but I've already bought enough hot beverages to pay for a new branch of a needlessly expensive coffee chain. (To whom it may concern: Corner of Sheridan and Irving Park, please. And make it snappy. Winter's coming.)

Once you work up some speed on the bike, or if you're on your way home at the end of a long day, you may choose to stop pedaling and drift. I wear a hat and gloves, and I sit up and take one hand off the handlebars, stretching my back up straight, watching my fellow urbanites or the city skyline to the south. Sometimes I stick my legs out to the side, brushing the grass or the puddles beneath me. If I ride through a big puddle, I bend my knees to lift my shoes up out of the water's spray, squealing involuntarily. I try not to splash runners or fellow bicyclists. They're already soaking wet, though, so it really doesn't make a difference except that it makes me look like a jerk for splashing them with more frigid water.

I would be remiss if I described the joys but did not outline the rules of the road. We're in America, so ride on the right side. We're in a major metropolis, so ride in the street, not on the sidewalks. Beware of turning vehicles, parked vehicles, and all vehicles. Put a white flashing light on the front of your bike and a red flashing light on the back, and tuck in your right pant leg so it doesn't get caught in the gears. (Getting tangled up is an unpleasant experience, especially in the middle of the Clark/Halsted/Barry six-way intersection.) And since there may be kids reading, wear a helmet.

So, want to go for a ride sometime?

Sincerely,

Brittany Petersen

The Scariest Thing Ever

Medill Dean John Lavine Steps Down

Medill Dean John Lavine is leaving behind some unfinished business.

Medill Dean John Lavine sent an email today to the Medill alumni listserv announcing he's stepping down from his post next August.

He doesn't really offer a reason other than focusing on other initiatives and spending more time with his wife. That's certainly possible, though of course it's curious that he's leaving the program at this point in the transition from pre-Lavine to a realization of his magnum opus, the "Medill 2020" plan (of which I'm admittedly not always a fan).

In fact, Dean Lavine mentions in the letter that "we've accomplished far more than was envisioned in our Medill 2020 plan." I'm not really sure what that means, but I would point out that it's only 2011, so maybe an itemized list of what we've actually accomplished (besides RenameGate) might shed some light on the depth of water we've been treading the last few years. And of course, this amplifies the question of where we'll go from here. A lot depends, I suppose, on who is chosen to succeed him.

We wait with bated breath. The letter is pasted below.

-----

from John Lavine
to MEDILLALUMS@listserv.it.northwestern.edu
date Wed, Sep 21, 2011 at 9:05 AM
subject Future Plans -- A Note to the Medill Community


Dear Colleagues and Members of the Medill Community,

Six years ago, President Bienen and Provost Dumas asked if I would lead the implementation of a new strategy for Medill. In the years that followed, we have joined together to deepen the quality of our curricula, provide our students with the best educational opportunities in the country and strengthen and diversify our offerings and resources.

Now, I’m writing to tell you that I have shared with President Schapiro and Provost Linzer my decision to step down as Medill's Dean on August 31, 2012. I do so knowing we have a faculty, staff and curricula no other school can match.

When I became dean, journalism and marketing communications were being roiled by a digital tsunami, and soon thereafter, by one of the worst economic downturns in a century. In the midst of these difficult circumstances, we adopted unprecedented curricular change. Northwestern supported our plan with the addition of more faculty and staff with new skills, knowledge, and experience than at any time in Medill’s history.

It has been quite an odyssey. Together we’ve accomplished far more than was envisioned in our Medill 2020 plan. Along the way, we’ve faced and overcome major challenges, as well as some controversies; when you undertake seismic change, both are inevitable.

What counts is the progress we’ve made, the foundation for the future that we’ve built, and the validation of what we’ve done from external sources -- including leaders of the industries we serve and the unprecedented evaluation last spring from the Accrediting Council on Education in Journalism and Mass Communications. Our faculty and curricula lead the country. Despite the tough economy, employers here and abroad seek out our graduates, and Northwestern University Qatar, our undergraduate school in Doha, is about to graduate its first class.

You are terrific colleagues. I treasure the opportunity to have worked with you, and I’m excited about completing the big projects we have before us this coming year.

When I step down, I will focus on an initiative that is also close to my heart -- examining how the media can determine if people are truly informed by the content they provide, and seeking out new ways for the news media to remain viable. I’ll have more to share about this work in the future.

I will also spend more time with my wonderful wife, Meryl. As busy as we’ve both been in our careers – and as much as she has been central to all that I’ve done in my professional life – now, more than ever, we cherish having more personal time together.

Warm regards,

John

Human categorization via social media

(click to enlarge)

I'd like to thank Facebook for making it so easy to fit my life into various pre-defined categories: education, music preferences, favorite athletes, things I "like." It's nice to see political views taken so seriously as an option as well. Facebook is, after all, an extension of ourselves, and that freedom of expression is not to be trifled with, no sir. Especially if you're tired of being nice to people who don't give a shit. Sign me up for that one.

And apparently drunken twats don't know the proper usage of the various forms of "your." Go figure.